Friendship

14 11 2009

Today I had another epic skype conversation with a friend. She and I talked for a total of 6 hours (we got disconnected once). Last week we talked for five. How do we do it? Where does the time go? Neither of us really knows. We talk about everything from social justice (something that’s big on both of our hearts), to boys (duh, we’re girls), to our faith, to every and anything else.

She and I have decided to do a blog once a day for the month of November (now that I’ve admitted it publicly I’m going to have to hold myself to it). We didn’t start until the third, so it may be a little less than the full month.

She mentioned tonight as we were getting off (at 4 am, her time) that she had intended to write today about To Write Love On Her Arms*, something we both decided to do and according to the facebook invite, it was to be celebrated today (her time) or yesterday (mine). Anyways, because of the late time, when we stopped talking, she just wrote a short blurb and went to bed.

Did she really miss celebrating it by not writing about it? I think she chose to live it instead. She spent the day totally loving on the middle school students in her youth group. Then she spent the time to talk to me for an insane amount of time. Sounds like living it to me.

For me, my biggest love language is quality time, time when I really get to talk to someone and hear their heart and open mine to them. It can take the shape of real conversation, texts, crazy facebook notes, letters, instant messenger, or tons of other ways. For me, it can’t be forced into a short conversation in a few minutes. I don’t open up about deeper things in short amounts of time.

Being so far away from everyone and everything I know has been hard for that reason. It’s hard to spend quality time with people, when there are only a few odd hours when your free (non-work/sleep time) matches up and weekends for both ends are spent doing things that are not around the computer. That makes me feel the distance more. I feel more distant from friends when I don’t talk to them regularly.

Anyways, she showed me this website and I realized I needed to share some of the things it was talking about with her. I needed someone to know some of the deeper things that were going on with me, so that I would truly be known and so that someone could lift me up in prayer. After sharing with her, I didn’t feel like I was really so far away from everyone. Also, being a verbal processor, some of the problems that I thought seemed so huge, seemed so much smaller.**

This particular friend showed me true friendship by willing to sit and listen, to share her heart. I am so thankful.

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*Please note, that while this site is aimed at people “struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide,” those are not things I’m dealing with. However, I have been dealing with the distance from home (some homesickness) and making friends in a new place. It has not been easy, but the Lord has been holding me up and providing new friendships in unexpected places.
**Also, please note that this is not a cry for help, but a way to say thank you to a friend, a chance to reflect on the way I spent my day.